I can confidently say that 2020 isn’t going to be brilliant for us. In some ways, I like the freedom that being able to say that brings.
I am sure it is going to be emotional and hard. At times it will feel empty and I will feel lost. But I do hope that we (the girls and I) can keep going forward more than backwards. That we let the light come in and warm our faces and dry our tears for a while.
2020 is going to be a time of quite a lot of change and whilst I know change in itself will be hard, I hope it will be ultimately positive. I’ve properly goal planned this year, gone all business-like, using my bullet journal! When we were away over New Year, I spent an afternoon writing out my plans. I’ve broken that down into quarterly goals and then I’ll do a monthly list of things I need to do to get to those goals. It definitely feels easier to break things down into small steps and I feel better knowing that I am moving towards where I want to be, even in tiny steps.
I’m not going to share them all here but these are the main ones:
This is the big one! We are moving out soon for around five months whilst our house is being renovated. Most of the downstairs is being reconfigured to make the rooms work better and we will be getting a brand new kitchen and utility room too. Upstairs, I’m going to have a brand new ensuite in my bedroom and all the rooms will be decorated and re-carpeted. It feels quite scary talking about it and I’m not looking forward to the upheaval. It is going to be amazing when it’s done though! I spent a good while after Andy died wondering whether we should move and start afresh. I came to the conclusion that we were otherwise very happy where we are and it seemed daft to move for the sake of it. I am looking forward to getting the fresh start by making our house lovelier and somewhere we will be happy to be for years to come. Andy and I planned some of the work together before he died and I’ve used those conversations to inspire some of the plans. I’ve spent a huge amount of time on Pinterest looking for decor inspiration – you can see my inspiration here – https://www.pinterest.co.uk/siancarlisle/. I’m definitely going to share more about the plans and progress soon!
Earn Some Money
Another big, scary, necessary one. I didn’t go back to work after having Imogen who will be six in May. I had planned to go back when she started Reception last year and I had a place on a vocational Masters course. It very much didn’t feel like the right time though, just a couple of months after Andy died suddenly. This year I feel more ready though I’m still not sure what I want to do! I’ve decided to try a couple of options. I’m keeping an eye out for something part time whilst also doing some courses. I’ve just finished a distance learning course and hoping to do another in the spring. I’m attracted to the courses because they are so helpful in updating my knowledge, getting my mind back into work mode and giving me a confidence boost. Maybe what I end up doing will be a mixture of some sort of employment and working for myself. Let’s face it, whatever I do, flexibility is going to be crucial. My background is in B2B (business to business) financial marketing. My degree was in marketing too and for a while I was focussed on product or service development before moving into management. Product development is fun! It’s very diverse, project based, can be intense but you get to see an end result to your endeavours. I’m also looking at the freelance copywriting and the digital marketing side too,
I love travelling with my kids, it gives us all such a boost. We don’t have as many trips planned this year as we had in 2019 but we do have some pretty cool ones booked. We are going to Italy then Norfolk in the spring and have a BIG California adventure planned for the summer.
Mind & Body Health
Keep on doing what I can to stay sane and healthy. I made a good start on this in 2019 so will do more of the same and I think I’d like to set myself a physical challenge and start swimming when the girls swim too. Also, with all this change this year, to remember to give myself space and do the things I enjoy (getting out of the house, walking, art galleries) when the world feels overwhelming.
I’m going to come back in July to review where I’ve got to 🙂